Loving Those Who Gossip And Lie To Us Or About Us.

Here we have various possibilities

a. They tell lies that are not about us. They could be about themselves, others, events etc.
b. They tell lies to others about us.
c. They gossip about others.
d. They gossip about us.

This is another spiritual challenge - to love those who behave in this way.

Whenever we experience negative feelings that overshadow our natural innate love, we need to ask ourselves the question: "What danger do I feel here?" What might I fear when others behave in these ways?

Some programmings are:
a. I am not safe when others tell me lies. I have no way to understand or control what is happening and cannot know what to do.

b. I am not worthy when others tell me lies.

c. Others might reject me and I might lose my self-respect when others gossip about me, telling others secrets about my personal life.

d. Others will reject me and I will lose their love if others tell lies about me.

Basically we experience a threat to our security and self-worth - mainly because of what others will think about us.

In order to be able to love in such a situation, we must once again start with the premise that this is happening to us for some reason and that we have some spiritual benefit to gain if we learn that lesson.

We might benefit from learning the following lessons.

a. Life is giving me exactly what I need in order to free me from fears and programming that limit my happiness and my perception of myself.

b. My self-worth is totally independent from what others think about me.

c. I am worthy even when others lie to me and about me.

d. People lie when they fear the truth. They must have some serious problem in order to lie.

e. People gossip when they doubt their own self-worth and when they need affirmation and attention. They need help.

f. I have every right to confront lovingly but assertively anyone who lies or gossips about myself or others, demanding that they cease from such behavior.

g. I do not need to feel anger or hate in order to confront those who are controlled by fears, self-doubt and needs that cause them behave in immoral or unjust ways. I can confront them just as dynamically with love, communicating with their higher nature.

h. Nothing can happen that is not good for my evolutionary process.

i. I have the inner power to deal with and surpass any event or situation that might arise.

If we can believe the above, then we can lovingly confront lying persons, connecting with their sense of correctness, explaining why it is so important for us, others and them to speak only the truth about all and never say anything about someone who is not present that we would not say if they were present.

We can understand that these people have serious problems and need help and love. We can love them and help them while simultaneously confronting them whenever necessary if they are not truthful or fall into the trap of gossiping.

In extreme situations where the others' behaviors become very painful or destructive to us or others, we always have the option of cutting off all contact with that person, while we continue to love them and pray for them and place them daily in the light, hoping for their awakening and freedom from their problem.

From the forthcoming book "Love is The Choice"
by Robert Elias Najemy